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[19 Jul 2006|04:24pm] |
NEW LJ- our_mantra
NEW LJ- our_mantra
NEW LJ- our_mantra
NEW LJ- our_mantra
NEW LJ- our_mantra
NEW LJ- our_mantra
NEW LJ- our_mantra
ADD.
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[19 Jul 2006|03:13am] |
I need to make a new livejournal.
this one is gay.
i hate this name.
AFI.
heh.
I love them though.
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[19 Jul 2006|03:11am] |
I went downstairs to find a short animated movie. Something that was like an hour and a half. I walk down the steps and look by the TV and my dad was sleeping on the couch.
He was also up really late. Later than my mom and sister.
Something's going on.
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[17 Jul 2006|03:56am] |
KH and MSI was lovely.
Got seperated from Courtney, Matt Drake, and Jose, but we found them afterwards so it was okay.
Ummm me and Jess talked to Mat Devine (srsly.fox) and then I accidently cut off a hello hug asking for a signing. But I hugged him back later. Of course. Ummmm. Yeah. And we talked about the Milwaukee show and how Jess was sick and he was like "awww. oh no!" and then we told him the show was amazing and he took our picture. Which was cute. But I probably look like a big old gay in it.
Then we talked to Dan and he was really nice. Super. Super tall. Even for me. haha. Ummm yeah. he was sweet, too.
Then no one could sleep in the hotel later. We all kept waking up. Me and Jess were sharing the pull out bed and we heard some drunks at like 5 am and then we had the tv on mute and we all saw various Full House, Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron, etc. shows.
Then in the morning we all got ready, blahblhablha, AND WALKED TO EFFIN NAVY PIER IN THE 95 DEGREE HEAT. IT WAS TERRIBLE. and a 20 minute walk. Then Jess's dad picked us up and took us the the train station, Jess obviously stayed with them to see the loved ones later. We waited like two hours. Me and Courtney attempted to sleep. But our plan was ruined by screaming children.
We got home. I was tired. Couldn't sleep. Ate dinner. Couldn't sleep. Watched tv. Couldn't sleep. But exhausted. Talked to Jess. STILL couldn't sleep. Put in Charlie and the Choc. Factory at around 11. Finally fell asleep in my dad's chair and woke up at like 2:45 and headed to bed.
Slept till one.
Today I didn't even change out of my pajamas. How's that for disgusting?
Tomorrow, I'll be going to Ruthy's to bake and decorate a cake.
BTW: RUTHY. I'M GOING TO CALL YOU TOMORROW AFTERNOON. MY AUNT WILL DRIVE ME TO YOUR HOUSE BECAUSE SHE'S OVER HERE. I'LL CALL YOU AND FIND OUT IF I NEED TO BRING ANYTHING. KAY.
GOODNIGHT.
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[14 Jul 2006|12:37pm] |
MSI/KH DAY
AHHHHHHH
Courtney is getting me in like a couple minutes because I'm running errands with her.
WOOOOOO.
:D:D:D:D:D::D:D:D:FD:FDF:D:F
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[12 Jul 2006|12:31am] |
I can't stop listening to The Calender Hung Itself... by Bright Eyes.
I honestly can't.
And it makes me want to cry.
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[12 Jul 2006|12:16am] |
I'm venting to Nicole about everything.
And it feels so good.
And I'm happy she's listening.
Because there has been a lot of ranting and upsetting things going on today. With all of us.
But it honestly feels good to rant about her to someone other than my mom.
heh.
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[11 Jul 2006|10:47pm] |
OTHER FRIENDS: Never ask for food
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
OTHER FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.
OTHER FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we fucked up...but that shit was fun!"
OTHER FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Cry with you.
OTHER FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
OTHER FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
OTHER FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
OTHER FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
OTHER FRIENDS: Are for a while.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Are for life.
OTHER FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste!!"
OTHER FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!
OTHER FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
WISCONSIN FRIENDS: Will repost this
lolz.
tis true.
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[11 Jul 2006|05:47pm] |
To _________:
Does he she kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does she sing to you incessantly from the place between your bed and wall?
Does she walk around all day at school with her feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend she walks with you.
Does she know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
and does she cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does she lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried that you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is she coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there are a thousand more
that you won't ever see but most hold inside yourself eternally.
I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In every city, memories would whisper: "Here is where you rest."
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees
and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
I kissed a girl boy with a broken jaw that his father gave to him.
He had eyes bright enough to burn me. They reminded me of yours.
In a story told he was a little boy in a red-rouge,
sun-bruised field and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.
And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry's end where I wrote,
You make me happy when the skies are gray
You make me happy the skies are gray and gray and gray.
Well the clock's heart it hangs inside its open chest with its hands
stretched towards the calendar hanging itself but I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who have left there are a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid.
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[10 Jul 2006|09:45pm] |
THE RULES :
- List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
- Don't say who they are, use people only once.
- All who read this must post in their own journal.
1. I hate how you've changed and I hate how you only care about the most unimportant things in the world. Money doesn't matter. Well, it helps, but it isn't all you should think about. I worry about you being lonely all the time. Because a lot of times, I can't stand being near you.
2. You have a one-track mind and it gets annoying. I only hear one kind of thing coming out of your mouth. I still have hard feelings for some of the things you've done, but I'll eventually get over it. And I love you nonetheless.
3. I still don't know how I feel about you. If I actually do like you, 1) it would never work out and 2) you wouldn't feel the same way back.
4. I think you are stuck up. I think you expect way more respect than you deserve. You take care of people but people don't like getting things shoved in their face. You do. not. deserve any more respect than people give you.
5. I miss you. Really. I really really miss you. And I get the feeling you don't care anymore or that you are pulling away from everyone and everything.
6. I'm tired of you always being depressed, no matter how horrible that sounds. I honestly can't tell if you are being serious about your depression anymore. Sometimes it seems like it is all just an act to get attention and a rise out of people.
7. I think it was wrong of you to do that to him. I think you are childish and I think you are completely immature for your age. I think that you are skeezy.
8. I think you are incredibly judgemental. You state that you are oh-so open minded, but if someone walks by in sunglasses and a white belt, automatically they are a terrible annoying scene kid. This persons haircut makes them this certain label. It's annoying. Learn to accept people for who they are.
9. I think it sucks how you pulled yourself away from everyone. All everyone ever did was love you and that still wasn't good enough for you.
10. You have terrible self-esteem problems. People wouldn't notice it at first, but you do. Maybe it's just because I know you so well. But you do. And I think you need some help. You are constantly down and it's hard to watch someone I love so much so depressed. Even when you are laughing and smiling, I can tell you aren't as happy as you deserve to be.
DO THIS. IT REALLY MAKES YOU FEEL A LOT BETTER. THANK YOU NICOLE.
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[10 Jul 2006|06:43pm] |
You, well you need to stop acting like you rule the world.
You need to stop acting like you know everything.
I hope you understand you have this uncanny way of making people not want to be near you.
Sure, now you say you don't care. But when you get older and you are sitting in your small one bedroom apartment eating dinner by yourself, well then maybe you'll come to realize people don't like being treated like worthless pieces of garbage.
and YOU. Maybe you should start acting like the "head of the house" That's how you want to be treated, so stop acting more immature than your 15 year old daughter who just watches from the sidelines as you fight with the know it all.
But you. YOU. You were happy when I talked to you 3 hours ago. Happy that I passed a test. Happy. No more than two hours later, you are sobbing. Maybe everything would be better if it was just you and I. Maybe, as much as I hate to say it, everything would be better if the know it all left. Maybe he wouldn't get so upset that the shower cuts out two times in the middle of taking one. Maybe he wouldn't be so caulous. \
Maybe.
But no matter what, no one wants to hear you sobbing an hour after a fight about how you are sick of there being "no joy in this house."
Maybe it's your fault.
Maybe it's your fault.
Maybe it's my fault for not stopping it.
But honestly, I know who's fault it is.
Because you, know it all, you need to be treated specially. People need to walk on egg shells around you. You know how to push people's buttons. You know what makes people pissed off.
You know how to make things terrible.
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[10 Jul 2006|06:24pm] |
3 on the AP Euro test.
eh.
not that great, but it's passing. so i don't really care.
I was just so happy I passed.
I am qualified, whatever that means.
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[10 Jul 2006|12:24am] |
EVERYONE.
SO THIS IS HOW JESS REALLY FEELS ABOUT ME.
R3CYCL3D phrases: Alyssa, you are so lucky the deer didnt kill you with your window down
revealxourdemise: i know.
revealxourdemise: *sigh*
revealxourdemise: but i'm not dead.
R3CYCL3D phrases: dmnt.
KTHNX.
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[08 Jul 2006|03:02pm] |
JESS:
i AM PICKING YOU UP. AT 4:30.
BE READY.
You're not answering your phones, so I left the message here.
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[08 Jul 2006|01:58am] |
Events of the day:
Lunch/shopping with the mother till 5
5-7:30 nothing.
8-9 hair cut
9-11- nothing.
11-1:30 Clerks at the Freak Show with Kelly, Lea, and Tommy.
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[07 Jul 2006|10:05pm] |
So I just got my hair cut.
It's short.
SHORT.
The left side comes down to about the bottom of my jaw.
The other side goes a little past my jaw.
The back is short and the top kind of spikes up a bit, going into the top.
the bangs are the same.
It's short and I'm not used to it but my mom likes it and when it grows out, it will be fkkn cute as shit.
but I'm just not used to it yet.
I can see how it is cute, but I always had my security flaps, as me and Sarah called them, where they cover the sides of your face and neck.
Not anymore.
Ehhh.
BUT definately short enough on top to do a fauxhawk.
sweetz0rz
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[01 Jul 2006|11:34pm] |
AND I CAN GO TO NINE INCH NAILSSSS
OH DEAR LORD.
I AM FOREVER IN DEBT TO JESS'S DAD.
MORE THAN I ALREADY AM.
OH GOD.
OHHHHH GODDDDDD.
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[01 Jul 2006|04:14pm] |
MY PHONE
IS OPERATING CORRECTLY.
AHHHHH.
I'M HAPPY.
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[01 Jul 2006|12:26am] |
THERE HATH BEEN AN ACCIDENT.
INVOLVING MY PHONE, SWIMMING SUITS, JEANS, AND A TOILET.
IN SHORT, MY PHONE FLEW INTO KATIE'S TOILET WHILE I WAS CHANGING INTO MY SWIMMING SUIT.
TIS AIRING OUT.
DON'T CALL FOR LIKE, 2 DAYS OR UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
KTHNX
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